Lesson 1: Covering Up Doesn’t Fill Up!

Countless articles and books have been written to help people discover their identity or, more likely, their identities. Much of the information contained in these resources says that people’s identity is found in their gender, marital status, family role, or career. Additionally, people often find their identity in their economic status, where they live, the level of education they have, their hobbies, or their favorite sports team. The source of identities seems endless and all-consuming.

Consider this example. A woman is married with two children. She is a working professional with two post-secondary degrees who owns a business. Along with her family, she is involved in her local church. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, rock climbing, and traveling. Her favorite sports are football, played at both the college and professional levels.

The woman in the above example has fourteen layers of identity. As she ages, her layers will increase or decrease according to her ability to participate in activities and the number of family members and friends remaining.

We tend to base our identity upon our work (I’m a pastor), family role (I’m a husband and father), age (I’m middle-aged), gender (I’m a man), or marital status (I’m married). I must admit I struggle with this issue. I’m reminded of the number of layers of identity just in the way people address me in conversation. I’m Terry, Pastor Terry, Dr. Kirby, Dad, and Grandpa. The layers of identities bury us.

We question our identity when we face change from job loss, job promotion, or relocation, the death of a close family member, divorce, aging, or any number of issues. There was a four-year gap between my departure from my last pastorate and the start of my current one. During that long break of searching for work, I struggled with identity. Many of the layers of my identity had been ripped off, and I felt empty.

During the hurt and pain, I caught myself from drifting away from my true identity as a follower of Jesus Christ. The security of my salvation was as strong as ever, but without a position, my identity as a pastor changed. I had to remind myself that regardless of the changes to my work, family role, age, gender, or marital status, I was first, foremost, and forever a child of God. I found great comfort and hope in this reality.

For many years, an expression has been passed through Christian circles regarding becoming a Christ follower. The expression goes like this: “Everyone has a God-sized hole in their heart that only God can fill.” This sentiment rings true, but I would like to expand on this expression based on the conversation above.

Let’s call the “God-sized hole” the place where our core identity resides. Our core holds the faith we have in God through Jesus Christ, which transformed us into Christ-followers at our conversion. Please reference Ephesians 2:8, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.” (NASB)

Many Scriptures teach about identity. The scope of this article is too small to discuss every passage adequately. But there is one foundational passage I want to mention: the identity of Christ followers is in Christ. Galatians 2:20 states, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

Many people who experience a crisis of belief following a significant life change often talk about losing their sense of identity. To view this change through the illustration above, you may have lost one or more of the layers of your identity, such as your job or spouse, but you have not lost your core identity, which is your faith in God through Christ. Our core identity is strengthened as our faith grows. Our faith grows as our relationship with God through Christ matures and deepens.

You may be someone who believes the layers of your identity make you who you are. You add layer upon layer to your life as you try to establish your identity. You may also allow other people to place layers upon you. Whether you know it or not, the weight of the layers can be crushing, especially when your core is weak. Your goal is to strengthen your core identity so that you can withstand the constant changes to its layers.

How do you strengthen your core identity?

1. Study the Bible and pray.
2. Be specific in your study, learn about:
   • Your identity in Christ.
   • Your identity in Christ.
   • The importance of obedience is found in Scripture.
   • The role of the Holy Spirit in the life of a Christ follower.
3. Seek out and engage with believers who share a strong core value with you.
4. Find biblically based authors who write about identity.

People struggle with the issue of knowing their identity. We find one of the main reasons in the title of this article. Instead of strengthening their core by adding layers of identity, as recommended above, many people attempt to establish their identity by covering up their empty core with heavy layers of identities, ultimately crushing themselves and revealing an empty and weak core.

Remember these simple truths:

• Salvation comes only through God’s grace by faith in Jesus Christ.
• Our core identity is in Christ.
• Identity layers help describe us, but not define us.

Blessings,

Terry